Fifty Shades of Anthroposophy: Which Shade are You? 

Post by Douglas Gabriel

Fifty

Shades of 

Anthroposophy 

     After exploring the wild world of Anthroposophical Facebook groups I thought that it might be helpful (and fun—yes, this is a parody) to create a survey for screening all interested parties so that more compatible chat groups might be established.  Perhaps this would cut down on trolls and trolling, occult imprisonment, Internet addiction, Internet collateral psychological damage, divorce, cross-overs, proselytizing, mean-talk, virtual demoralization, and post virtual shock syndrome.

 

     We call our survey aHarmony (inspired by the dating website eHarmony which made a perfect match of Tyla and me several years ago).  This is a self-administered survey for your own self-reflection to determine which anthroposophical group site is most compatible with your anthroposophical views. 

     If used properly, you will find a perfect group match where your ideas will not be challenged and you can lay in a hammock undisturbed by contrary opinions.  Our matches lead to fewer virtual divorces, fewer cyber-bullies and nasty trolls, and fewer irrelevant posts.  You won’t be bothered by those other Anthroposophists who believe in things you don’t.  There is plenty of diversity in the world, so why should there be any in chat groups?  Let’s keep it homogeneous and just the right amount of spice to keep you from falling asleep.

 

     Facebook is not responsible for anything, anywhere, at any time, in any dimension and reserves the right to deny any culpability in this life, or any future life as a human, cyborg, genetically modified human being, or computer.

Please circle or provide the best answer that would describe your preferences, likes, and dislikes.

 

I like to communicate in:

English   German   Spanish   All   Other________

 

How would you describe your reading style of Anthroposophy?

Orthodox (Steiner Only)

Standard (Steiner + vintage Anthrop authors)          

Neo (Re-envisioned Anthroposophy by contemporary authors) 

Pseudo (Steiner is too hard to read!)  

Liberal (all views from anyone and everyone)

 

What percentage of Rudolf Steiner is necessary for you?

I need at least ______% of Rudolf Steiner in any remark to make it valid.

 

What type of Anthroposophist would you call yourself?  Choose One:

Aristotelean        

Platonist       

What’s an Aristotelean or a Platonist?

 

Please list all infallible sources that direct you on your spiritual path:

I blindly believe in the following teachers _______________________________________.

I blindly follow and will fiercely defend the following teachings______________________.

In the following portion of the survey please circle the numeric value that best represents your view.  

 

Level of Contention:

(-5, I will accept none; +5, I love all contention)

                                  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0 +1  +2  +3  +4  +5

 

YouTube Videos:

(-5, I have no tolerance for people who post YouTube videos, especially without personal comments; +5, I like to watch any and all YouTube videos posted, especially any garbage and unrelated videos)

                                  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0 +1  +2  +3  +4  +5

 

Level of Swearing Allowed:

Cussing, bad words, bad feelings, bad thoughts, bad intentions are all types of swearing. 

                                  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0 +1  +2  +3  +4  +5

 

Name Calling:

Calling people mean, evil names like “liar”, “full of non-sense”, “confabulator”, etc.

                                  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0 +1  +2  +3  +4  +5

 

Harassment:

We need to know exactly when “making fun” is no longer fun.  What is your tolerance level?

                                  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0 +1  +2  +3  +4  +5

 

Level of Tolerance for Other Religions and Beliefs:

                                  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0 +1  +2  +3  +4  +5

In the following portion of the survey please circle the answer that best describes you:

 

Are you currently Rudolf Steiner reincarnated?                       Yes    No  

                                                                                                           Yes, and I know who you are, too.         

Do you believe the Anthroposophical Society is a viable

   world-wide organization?                                                          Yes     No

 

Will you listen to others?                                                               Yes    No

 

Are you a troll or do you exhibit troll behaviors?                      Yes    Hell, No

 

Have you ever been kicked out of a fb group?                            Yes    No

    If yes, how many groups have terminated you?                     _______

 

Have you ever been called a cyber-bully before?                      Yes, what’s it too you!    No

 

Do you know of any out of wedlock children of Steiner?          Yes     No

     If yes, are you one?                                                                     Yes     No

This section is for advanced students only.  If you are only interested in vegan cheesecake recipes for your anthroposophical dessert table, this section may be too difficult for you to answer.             

 

Please give your opinion as to the percentage of Anthroposophy found in the following authors.  This will help define proclivities and the percent necessary to create spiritual compatibility between you and your Facebook group.  Here is an example of how I filled mine out.  See below for a blank chart for you to complete and share with your fellow Facebook colleagues.  

 

Douglas’ opinion:

Author                                                    % Steiner          % Other Source of Inspiration

Steiner                                                       100                               0

Mrs. Steiner                                               95                                 5

Ita Wegman                                               95                                 5

Guenther Wachsmuth                            105                               -5

Annie Besant                                          -200                              +200

Valentin Tomberg (early work)              75                                 25       

Anonymous- Meditations on Tarot       25                                 75

Robert Powell                                            10                                 90

Richard Distasi                                         50                                 50

Judith Von Halle                                      70                                 30

Sergei O. Prokofieff                                  95                                  5

 

 

Your opinion: 

Author                                                    % Steiner          % Other Source of Inspiration

Steiner                                                     _______                   _______

Mrs. Steiner                                            _______                   _______

Ita Wegman                                            _______                   _______

Guenther Wachsmuth                          _______                    _______

Annie Besant                                          _______                    _______

Valentin Tomberg (early work)            _______                   _______ 

Anonymous- Meditations on Tarot     _______                   _______

Robert Powell                                          _______                    _______

Richard Distasi                                       _______                   _______

Judith Von Halle                                     _______                   _______

Sergei O. Prokofieff                                 _______                   _______

Other authors that should be considered:

________________________                   _______                   _______

________________________                   _______                   _______

________________________                   _______                   _______

 

Circle any affiliations with religions or cosmologies that might cause you to resist Anthroposophical ideas.

 

Manichean     Gnostic (list sect)     Luciferian     Ahrimanic Minion     Host of the Asuras 

Christianity (list sect)     Buddhist (list sect)    New Ager (list sect)     Hindu (list sect))

Christian Community     Rosicrucian (list sect)     Freemason (list sect)     Jewish (list sect)

Muslim (list sect)     Greek   Egyptian   Atlantean   Lemurian     Sumerian     Akkadian

Chaldean     Babylonian     Bonpo     Tibetan Buddhist (list sect)   Wicca (list sect)     

Sufi (list sect)  Celt (list sect)  Catholic (priest or nun)   Jain   Agnosticism   Aetheism      

Other ____________________

 

 

I hate surveys.               Yes     No

 

I don’t give a damn.      Yes      No

 

Your answers will be tabulated by ahrimanic computers that will suggest the ideal group for you so that your feelings will never be hurt and your thoughts will never be challenged.

 

Stay aHarmonious!